Tonight is one of many nights that I will face alone and scared, wandering the streets going from squat to camp looking for a place to sleep every night where I won't be bothered or arrested. Right now, all I want to do is sleep for a few hours but here i am sitting here with a big group of travelers that will be gone by tomorrow,with this on my mind wonders back to how I ended up sleeping in abandoned buildings and eating other people's leftovers.
Even though it been three weeks, it seems like a month ago and a very different world I lived in....
It was two in the morning. I woke after two hours of sleep; I'd come home late after a night out at a rave I tired and still rolling but just barely,
The sounds of sirens in my ears were enough to tell this was not just a pig doing rounds, and the blue and red lights that reflected off the walls of my room told me the "Pigs' were back to raiding the house for drugs again I so sick tired of this in last year my parents had been under watch but seem not care as if all the coke and meth had gotten to there heads.
They and I knew they would find the drugs in the house but one thing they would not find was me I was not going to a foster home again that life was not for me I rather die then up in another home for girls, waiting told I could go home and lucky I wouldn't stuck in juvie for a week with no criminal record as the state looked for place to put me.
As soon as I heard the brake of the door I grabbed my backpack and jumped/bolted out the same window that had been open so could get in after the party and threw my self over the fence that stood between our yard and the trailer park next to ours next to ours.
I did not look back it was not home any more just another house because this it time I knew that my parents were not coming back this was there last chance and they blew it they were headed to prison they belong there I don't,
I don't belong any were...
Coming back out of the past I wonder if they had moved any of the stuff
I looked around me at all people id come to know they clothed me and given me a place sleep most nights but still wanted stuff from the house but I still wondered if it was safe to return to the house and raid it for all pain and shit my parents put me in.
Picking up my bag I headed over to the streets that I had once called home.
The house had yellow tape around it but no one was there I had the key to the backdoor I had stolen so I could come leave when ever I wanted and decided to use that or wondering if I should use my window heading towards the back I saw my window was closed so I headed for the back,
Unlocking the door I saw that the house was trashed by the police and dogs as they looked for drugs so well hidden that they had probably found part of the drug stashes.
I headed to the back of the house stepping over stuff as I head backroom were our birth/medical records were kept the room was a disaster but the file cabinet was unopened I opened it and took all the files out of not caring if they were my or not.
Next stop was my room it was untouched as a resulted of having no drug I didn't keep my drugs at the house or do them there.
I sat on my bed I knew I had to get out of there of the comfort of my old room,
Felt comforting to the fact that I would never sit there sadden me completely.
Then remembering why I had went in there I stood up and went to the closet and got a brown envelopes marked collage money I had saved this for ten years and had put over 50,000 dollars I had gotten the money from do small jobs and from own sales of drugs think of drugs made realized that should grab those. I grabbed a traveling back pack that I brought with me and had gotten from the travels yesterday and put the envelopes in it as well as the records I had taken from the backroom, as I left I stopped and pick up a few things that I felt I needed or could sell and as I went out of the room I look over my should and took a deep sigh.
Then I went to the front of the house I went up stairs to attic I look around the cops had not been up there I went a section and pulled up part the floorboards I saw bags pure Columbian cocaine they where piled in small gram bags I reached in and grab a hand full and pull my bag then grab the rest there where 400 bags then closed the opening up then went down stairs went to basement and went old chest and opened and there where 6 pounds pot I put bag realizing it was getting heavy I went back stairs went in the room my parents shared going in there I pull out a gun from under there bed the gun my dad had gotten from his father after he had died it was Colt 1873 Peacemaker revolver, I took the bullets there where only 50 of them and they could not replaced and the holster real leather I was glad they had not found it because it was a family heirloom
I Want to have it just in case............
Heading down the hall I saw the living there was blood on the floor think dumb cops make look more of a crime then knowing that they had no trouble with my parents half past out enough that didn’t hear me come that night,
Walking into the kitchen I opened up my back pack a stuff as many quick noodles soups as I could then went and climbed on top of the refrigerator and pulled out the money made for sales it was drug money but I didn't care looking at the clock I knew I had to leave putting the bag on my back realizing it was the heaviest thing I’d every carried and walk down the hall back to the backdoor not looking back to the one house I once called home Wondering were to go head to downtown to library all kids where hanging out.
Setting across from there library and cloud of smoke is always there I come to love the smell of cigarettes I smokes with my friend but have never bought a pack till known also had smoked now and that was because I was bored wait for something to happen.
I bum them off of my friends or strangers.
There are many types of street people there two main groups I deal daily bases first group is those who are stuck they been in same town for years and never get job or doing anything complain of there lives and live off other people or welfare and there is also the travelers who are here one gone the next who always bring the good drugs from Cali.
I walk up to them a heavy/set women name angel (she is one those that is stuck) and call out
"Hey tricky what up"
She not really a friend you can’t friends with those who stuck when your on the streets because the will drain you then throw you away and you could never tell them your fears or hopes they’d see as weakness and use it.
They will back you up in fight but only if they see that will be to advantage.
These are the games I had to play.
“Hey where are sleeping tonight?”
It's illegal to sleep in a park in our state can't sleep in any public place so we are always finding places were pigs can't find us.
"parking garage basement is safe I just slip under fence and open the door then bring stuff inside its safe the doors are lock from the outside so the gate is only way into basement and that lock so you have slip under it”
“I might join you night “
Angel smile and turns around and talks to some one in the group,
Some times I feel as if I am alone that if I could I just quit being me I'd be any one well I need to stop moping any go get more money I'm not going blow all the money I have saved up so say bye to all my friends and head up the main road to all the shops I go to back of the nearest cardboard bend and find a small section I take out a black marker
And write Hungry and Homeless in bold letters then head out to side walk and find a place to sit on busy street I live in Tourist/Collage town so the street are full of tourist who are willing to spare some change so I start sing people drop a dollar here a dime there I pick any dollar that over a one and leave the dollars and change I'll have to wait to get any fives or tens it's to early,
Some young guys come and start flirt I always flirt back weather they could be my father age it gets me money these guys put a five in and one hands me a ten and said to get some thing to eat I wait for them to go down a ways before put the five and ten in my bag. Spanging gets boring quickly even when you’re doing well.
I deiced to go and see who is there and maybe smoke some weed I walk to park a new group travelers is in town I go them ask if they have a pipe one them say yes I ask them want go in park and they say “hell yeah” we walk deeper into park and find place in trees I pull a pound out my bag many of there eyes go wide they pass me a pipe I pack a bowl in to it and hand it cute hippie chick on my left she light and coughs she smiles and nods it goes around the circle they make comment that’s good weed I pull out and give them all a bud one asks if I want trade for Lucy I say sure I give quarter for ten hits of L they ask me if travel I say only been homeless for a month then ask where I bought the pot say that given to me because parent just jail they tell me to go collage if i wanted to sell it I told ill keep that in mind.
the we head back to downtown i am board i have money my pocket so i go get something to eat slipping in same pattern as every other homeless person who is a loser and moocher.
the day starts brake away as sun sets in sky and realize that i can't stay here i leave or my freedom end as quick as it started.
i head up to camp above the park then pull my sleeping bag from it's hiding place and crawl in closing waiting for tomorrow in dreams.
